This song page is still in progress
This song is still in progress, can’t say much yet. I’m recording the vocals and will send the instrumental to the producer soon!
However while you’re waiting, enjoy the lyrics ;)
I was typing and got carried away so now you have the story behind the song and lyric breakdown as well!
About Butterflies
From time to time I do songwriting exercises, where I take a beat online and try to write to that… To train a creative muscle so to speak…
I like to share every part of my process with you, so I recorded this and posted it to my Instagram.
It wasn’t a final product, it wasn’t even a draft… the purpose wasn’t for it to be good.
It went semi-viral and got 19K views and daily hate and eventually I deleted it. From “your voice makes me want to vomit” to “I’m killing myself because of you” and “fetal alcohol syndrome or downs?”.
I didn’t understand that type of behavior cause when I see something I don’t like, I just scroll to the next thing… I don’t need to take time out of my day to make sure the person hears my opinion and hopefully feels bad about what they’re doing and eventually who they are.
I made another song trying to prove my vocal abilities “they say that I can’t sing” and got extra hate.
I try to look at it with empathy and through “have I ever done something like this and why” and the answer was yes… I have posted mean comments and it meant I was in a place where I felt out of allignment, lacking, slacking. Music gives me purpose. When I’m not actively persuing that I feel like I’m floating through life and anyone who then has the balls to put themselves out there or stand for something creates friction within me. However, when I’m actively working on myself and my music, I don’t have time for that type of behavior. I don’t feel the urge to put others down rather as to lift them up. Confident people, people who are actively persuing their goals and working on themselves, succesful people will hardly ever spend time tearing others down. It’s always the losers, the low lifes, the stagnant.
I took a songwriting workshop for fun and that’s where I wrote butterflies. In the first session I had the verse, pre and chorus and part of the second verse. It was bothering me so much and I just tried to understand it. So it naturally flew out.
I am beyond proud of this song, it explains hatred and trolling perfectly.
It’s like a mantra, a little reminder “maggots won’t turn into butterflies”.
Obviously I have to learn to deal with this cause I can’t change their behavior but I can change how it affects me, the impact they do or don’t have on me, etc.
If you don’t ever do anything useful, you won’t get judged. I just prefer moving boldly than sofa-scrolling.
Lyrics
Hey there girlie, no offense
Your attitude is getting out of hand
And I don’t mean to put you on the stand
But tell me, what is your aim here?
Don’t wanna make you uncomfortable
But I am not dropping my crown for you
Why don’t you step back and bow down too
So you can pick it up for me
Your little projections speak volumes about you
Your aura is rotting
It must be confronting to see me right here
While you’re doing nothing
So tell me, does it lift you up
To try to knock me off
The edge I’ve been walking all my life
Keep calling me trash
Avoiding your own life
Maggots won’t turn into butterflies
Anonimity put you on offense
All your fucking insecurities at hand
Tell me how long do you think the feeling lasts
You’re risking it all for
And I’m so done with playing
Into expectations
Can somebody get me out?
I was never someone to sit still, look pretty
I’ll introduce me as the queen of petty
All I can seem to escape is my fucking mind
And I don’t wanna be here right now
Seems like I don’t have a choice
All there’s left for me to do
Is raise hell while I’m raising my voice
So tell me, does it lift you up
To try to knock me off
The edge I’ve been walking all my life
Keep calling me trash
Avoiding your own life
Maggots won’t turn into butterflies
Here’s a behind the scenes
Everything you can’t see
Can’t go places on your knees
So keep on throwing your shade
But your future will never be as bright as I can be
Tell me does it lift you up
To try to knock me off
Well you succeeded and
I’ll never get back who I used to be
It might be for the best
I kinda owe you this
You’re the one who fueled my grit
So tell me, does it lift you up
To try to knock me off
The edge I’ve been walking all my life
Keep calling me trash
Avoiding your own life
Maggots won’t turn into butterflies
Lyric breakdown
First paragraph→ Just a little nudge to the hater “hey girl, I notice what you’re doing… what’s going on”.
Second paragraph→ I don’t mean for you to feel the way you do but don’t expect me to change what I’m doing to make you feel better.
“pick it up for me” → know your place
”your little projections speak volumes about you” → How someone treats others, whether online or IRL, says a lot about their character, what they’ve been through, or their lack of life experiences that comes with a general lack of empathy and general ignorance.
”your aura is rotting”→ you’re gonna get all of this back one day.
The funniest, true, taunting line “it must be confronting to see me right here while you’re doing nothing” → it must be annoying to see me having the balls to persue something I’m good at, while you’ve been stagnant. This person literally has nothing better to do than to be on their phone, look at something they’ll never have the guts or talent to do, and judge you for that.
“So tell me does it lift you up etc” → Another nudge “does it really make you feel better or do you have some self work to do'“.
“The edge I’ve been walking all my life” → hate isn’t anything new to me. This is my fucking playground, my battlefield, my arena, I’m comfortable here.
“keep calling me trash” → since you’re a maggot calling me trash, you can’t help but be attracted to me, you keep crawling back for more, you literally can’t help it, cause it’s what you were designed to do. Probably the most powerful line in the song, yet so simple.
“avoiding your own life” → I know someone IRL who judges me for making music, singing, posting my songs. She’s in her 40’s, bullies her employees, stagnated, has kids, she always looks unhappy, she’s always complaining. She has so much to be grateful for but she never seems to be. She showed my videos to her employees, mocking me. Doesn’t bother me as much cause I know where it’s coming from and it holds no weight. She stagnated, she has no “up” to go, so the only way she can feel equal or superior is to bring me down to her level. If your life isn’t going the way you planned, all that’s left to do is focus on the life of others. It’s where people get into hate, it’s where people try to achieve things through their kids instead of living a fulfilling life themselves. It’s a little sad.
“anonimity put you on offense” → is a typical reference to our current online society. The anonimity we feel gives us the power to say things we would never feel comfortable saying to people in real life, safely from behind our screens.
“all your fucking insecurities at hand” → your attacking me with your own insecurities, cause every action reflects who you are.
“I’m so done with playing into expectations” → I used to be an insane people pleaser, at my own cost, it was exhausting, today I couldn’t care less. All these people you’re trying to please will be out of your life in 5 years anyway.
“I’ll introduce me as the queen of petty” → I don’t really care too much for the high road. If you really want to be on my bad side, I’ll go get Kaida and she will methodically pick you apart line by line.
“here’s a behind the scenes, everything you can’t see” → the coaches at the workshop adviced me to show in the bridge how the hatred affects me, “cause they might not realise and if they would they would change their behavior”. But truth be told, they do not care. They’re acting on a fraction of who you are, a little version of you that’s in their head.
“can’t go places on your knees” → again hinting at the “maggot” theme… as long as you’re crawling to the very person you call trash, you’re not going to make it very far.
"you succeeded and I’ll never get back who I used to be and it might be for the best I owe you this cause you fueled my grit”.
→ you completely destroyed the little scared people pleasing girl… you’ve made her into the very thing you hate, you’re why she’s so determined, putting herself out there.
you destroyed her and I’ll never be able to go back to that person, but maybe it’s for the better.